Come On Over
18 years ago
Wednesday, May 31, 2006
Update number 999
We got an update from our agency today. Apparently the courts were having trouble finding Ansley's birthmother. She was always working when they tried to deliver the legal paperwork. However, that has been remedied. She has signed off on the paperwork. So now, we wait for the judge to make that final decree. Hopefully, that will happen next week. Keep your fingers crossed!
Sunday, May 21, 2006
Randy's Thoughts
I feel that I should begin by saying that Jan and I talk about the adoption all the time, as one would expect, so its safe to say that I share the feelings and thoughts that she's expressed on this blog. However, here are some of my personal thoughts and feelings on the adoption.
As you probably well know, we currently have two sons, Judson 3 1/2 and Sawyer 1 1/2, both absolutely wonderful boys with abilities and needs that make everyday exciting to say the least. Sawyer, has had a rough start due to heart/lung issues and he has Down Syndrome. Through his first year of numerous doctor's visits and ultimately heart surgery and his following 'miraculous' recovery, Jan and I realized that we have a great deal more energy than before we would have thought possible. So, after Sawyer started steadily making normal progress we decided that we had enough room in our hearts and home for a little larger family. That's what has brought us to where we are today, waiting any day now for travel plans to pick up our new daughter Ansley.
I have been asked several times by friends and folks that I work with "Why did we choose to adopt?", especially after all the time and worry that we went through during Sawyer's first year. My response usually starts out with basically, "We're crazy!" But really I guess it comes down to that even though there are times I feel like literally pulling my hair out over a spilled 'this' or a broken 'that', the boys have taught and returned much more than we have given. (That said, come back and check on me in ten years or so when the teenage years kick in and I'm sure I'll have a different story that involves a military school ) They've taught me to look at things through new little eyes that look at things in a very bright, fresh and excited way and are not clouded or blinded by what years of 'living' can sometimes do.
Through watching the boys grow we have also learned that time passes by very quickly, too quickly. Although its not a pleasant thought, we all know that we only have a relatively short time in this life. So, with that we've decided to fill as much of the time we have with the greatest little blessings we know of. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to elevate kids to being the best thing for everyone, nothing could be farther from the truth. Sometimes when people ask me why I have made a decision to do something, I find they are really trying to decide what they want to do. Only an invidual can decide what is the best way to spend their time and I'm sure there's an infinite number of 'right' anwers and many don't involve raising children at all. I guess adult life boils down to three steps, (1) decide what's important to you and pursue those things (2) try your best, (3) keep trying.
As you probably well know, we currently have two sons, Judson 3 1/2 and Sawyer 1 1/2, both absolutely wonderful boys with abilities and needs that make everyday exciting to say the least. Sawyer, has had a rough start due to heart/lung issues and he has Down Syndrome. Through his first year of numerous doctor's visits and ultimately heart surgery and his following 'miraculous' recovery, Jan and I realized that we have a great deal more energy than before we would have thought possible. So, after Sawyer started steadily making normal progress we decided that we had enough room in our hearts and home for a little larger family. That's what has brought us to where we are today, waiting any day now for travel plans to pick up our new daughter Ansley.
I have been asked several times by friends and folks that I work with "Why did we choose to adopt?", especially after all the time and worry that we went through during Sawyer's first year. My response usually starts out with basically, "We're crazy!" But really I guess it comes down to that even though there are times I feel like literally pulling my hair out over a spilled 'this' or a broken 'that', the boys have taught and returned much more than we have given. (That said, come back and check on me in ten years or so when the teenage years kick in and I'm sure I'll have a different story that involves a military school ) They've taught me to look at things through new little eyes that look at things in a very bright, fresh and excited way and are not clouded or blinded by what years of 'living' can sometimes do.
Through watching the boys grow we have also learned that time passes by very quickly, too quickly. Although its not a pleasant thought, we all know that we only have a relatively short time in this life. So, with that we've decided to fill as much of the time we have with the greatest little blessings we know of. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to elevate kids to being the best thing for everyone, nothing could be farther from the truth. Sometimes when people ask me why I have made a decision to do something, I find they are really trying to decide what they want to do. Only an invidual can decide what is the best way to spend their time and I'm sure there's an infinite number of 'right' anwers and many don't involve raising children at all. I guess adult life boils down to three steps, (1) decide what's important to you and pursue those things (2) try your best, (3) keep trying.
Friday, May 12, 2006
May Update
(OK, had to break away from the "THE" theme) Here are Ansley's pictures for May. Should be the last update before we travel. She is 22 pounds and 30.5 inches. She is wearing an outfit we sent her.
Tuesday, May 09, 2006
The Doodles
Ansley has two pup-dawgs eagerly awaiting her arrival. One is extremely happy because he got to go to the groomer today. One is very sad because she did not.
Monday, May 08, 2006
The Boys, Again!
Ok. So here we are waiting on the travel news. How could I resist posting more pictures of the boys? I mean, they just got out of the bath tub. They are all squeaky clean and just plain adorable. DON'T BE FOOLED! The little one is a constant motion machine. He's always on the go and leaving a path of distruction where ever he's been. The big one, he gets to clean up after the day's distruction is complete. (Don't feel sorry for him. He creates quite a mess all by himself) Thanks Nana for the matching John Deere shirts!
Friday, April 21, 2006
The 1st Ruling!!!
We got our 1st ruling!!!! They expect the final ruling within 3-4 weeks. No word yet on travel. I'll keep you posted. Just wanted to share our excitement. Let me just reiterate our timeframe:
1. Started Homestudy: October 4, 2005
2. Received Referral: November 15, 2005
3. Homestudy completed: Mid-December
4. Legal Paperwork submitted to Taiwan: 12/30/05
5. Court Date: 2/16/06
6. First Ruling: 4/20/06 (or there abouts)
For those of you who are considering Taiwan adoption, remember it is not as predictable as other countries. Some folks wait much longer than we have waited. Some folks go thru the courts much quicker than we have. It is just the nature of Taiwan adoptions.
More later.
1. Started Homestudy: October 4, 2005
2. Received Referral: November 15, 2005
3. Homestudy completed: Mid-December
4. Legal Paperwork submitted to Taiwan: 12/30/05
5. Court Date: 2/16/06
6. First Ruling: 4/20/06 (or there abouts)
For those of you who are considering Taiwan adoption, remember it is not as predictable as other countries. Some folks wait much longer than we have waited. Some folks go thru the courts much quicker than we have. It is just the nature of Taiwan adoptions.
More later.
Monday, April 17, 2006
Thursday, April 06, 2006
The Waiting Game
Ok. I'm not going to lie and say, hey, this wait isn't so bad. It STINKS! But let's put this in perspective:
One year ago, Randy and I were still feeding Sawyer (via an NG tube) every 3 hours. We were still giving Sawyer meds around the clock (just to keep him alive). Doctors were still telling us that there was no cure for Pulmonary Hypertension. Doctors were still telling us they could not operate to correct his heart defect.
Today, Sawyer receives no medications. Today, Sawyer's heart defect is fixed. Today, Sawyer does not have an NG tube. Today, Sawyer does not have Pulmonary Hypertension. Today, doctors are writing a paper so the whole world will know that Pulmonary Hypertension is not a death sentence.
One year ago, Randy and I were still feeding Sawyer (via an NG tube) every 3 hours. We were still giving Sawyer meds around the clock (just to keep him alive). Doctors were still telling us that there was no cure for Pulmonary Hypertension. Doctors were still telling us they could not operate to correct his heart defect.
Today, Sawyer receives no medications. Today, Sawyer's heart defect is fixed. Today, Sawyer does not have an NG tube. Today, Sawyer does not have Pulmonary Hypertension. Today, doctors are writing a paper so the whole world will know that Pulmonary Hypertension is not a death sentence.
Life is so good!
Friday, March 31, 2006
The Poem
I found this on another website and loved it. Thought I'd share.
The Legacy of An Adopted Child
Once there were two women, who never knew each other.
One you do not remember, the other you call Mother.
Two different lives, shaped to make you one.
One became your guiding star, the other became your sun.
The first one gave you life, and the second taught you to live it.
The first gave you a need for love, the second was there to give it.
One gave you a nationality, the other gave you a name.
One gave you a talent, the other gave you aim.
One gave you emotions, the other calmed your fears
One saw your first sweet smile, the other dried your tears.
One sought for you a home that she could not provide,
The other prayed for a child, and her hope was not denied.
And now you ask me, through your tears,
The age old question, unanswered through the years.
Heredity or environment, which are you a product of?
Neither my darling, neither.
Just two different kinds of love.
Author unknown
Wednesday, March 29, 2006
The Statistics
You might find it interesting to note the number of international adoptions in 2005. This is based on the number of immigrant visas issued in 2005 by the US State Department.
Notice: Taiwan in #13 with 141.
Just thought you'd like to know.
TOP COUNTRIES OF ORIGIN
| FY2005 | |
| 1 | 7,906 - CHINA (MAINLAND) |
| 2 | 4,639 - RUSSIA |
| 3 | 3,783 - GUATEMALA |
| 4 | 1,630 - S. KOREA |
| 5 | 821 - UKRAINE |
| 6 | 755 - KAZAKHSTAN |
| 7 | 441 - ETHIOPIA |
| 8 | 323 - INDIA |
| 9 | 291 - COLOMBIA |
| 10 | 271 - PHILIPPINES |
| 11 | 231 - HAITI |
| 12 | 182 - LIBERIA |
| 13 | 141 - CHINA (TAIWAN BORN) |
| 14 | 98 - MEXICO |
| 15 | 73 - POLAND AND THAILAND (BOTH 73) |
| 16 | 66 - BRAZIL |
| 17 | 65 - NIGERIA |
| 18 | 63 - JAMAICA |
| 19 | 62 - NEPAL |
| 20 | 54 - MOLDOVA |
Notice: Taiwan in #13 with 141.
Just thought you'd like to know.
Monday, March 20, 2006
The Questions
When you tell people you are planning to adopt, you get lots of questions. Some because people are genuinely interested and some because people are just plain rude or insensitive or maybe just ill-informed about adoption. Here are some of the questions and the answers we give.
1. WHY? Why adopt? The short answer: WHY NOT? The extended answer: This desire has been in our hearts for years. It's something we did not want to ignore.
2. Why Taiwan? Great question. Before we started our research, we came up with the criteria we thought was important in choosing the place from which we would adopt. It was criteria specific to us and our situation. Length of time from beginning to end needed to be 12 months or less. We wanted a place where only one parent had to travel. (We didn't want both of us to have to leave the boys) We wanted a child that was considered healthy or with minor correctible health issues. (We didn't feel equipped to take care of 2 children with lifelong mental and/or physical needs) We also wanted to keep the financial costs as low as possible. The age of the child. We didn't want to upset the 'birth order'. We wanted a child less than 18months when he/she came home. All of these criteria may sound cold but we knew once we got into the actual selection process, we needed to have a plan so that emotion would not overtake us. With that criteria in mind, this is how it went.
1. Domestic adoption: It only met the 'travel' criteria.
2. Guatemala: Met the criteria although it was more expensive.
3. Korea: Met ALL the criteria. We just didn't meet their criteria.
4. Eastern Europe/Russia: Both parents have to travel for extended period of time.
5. Africa: Met most of the criteria although the health was a serious question
6. China: Met all the criteria
7. Taiwan: Met all the criteria
Once we started researching agencies and countries, it became clear to us that our child was waiting for us in Asia. Taiwan's length of travel is significantly less than China. ALso, their medical care is much more westernized. The agency we chose also places the children in foster care which seemed like a plus to us.
3. The Cost? Shame on you! You know it's rude to ask questions like that. But if you really must know, the cost of adoption is usually between $15,000-$30,000. The cost depends upon the country and agency you choose. Some adoptions can run even more. It depends if you are paying for the birth mother expenses and a private lawyer.
4. The agency? How did you choose the agency? Lots of questions and research and references. We found an agency that was the right fit for us. It is a must. You have to have an agency that works for you and your situation. SInce everyone is different, no one agency is right for everyone.
5. The unknown? How do you handle the unknown? Adoption is NOT for everyone. There are alot of unknowns. I would say there are alot of unknowns with biological children also. Parenting is one giant unknown. If you want all the answers before hand, don't adopt. (For that matter, don't have children, period!) We also found a support group that has been wonderful. If there are questions we have, they usually have the answer. They are a great group.
6. The Story? What is your child's story? My reply: "That is her story to tell" We got alot of information with our referral. There's alot we don't know but can speculate on. We choose to tell our daughter and then let her decide whom she will tell. We all have stories. We get to choose who we tell. She should have that same opportunity.
Hope this answers some of your questions.
1. WHY? Why adopt? The short answer: WHY NOT? The extended answer: This desire has been in our hearts for years. It's something we did not want to ignore.
2. Why Taiwan? Great question. Before we started our research, we came up with the criteria we thought was important in choosing the place from which we would adopt. It was criteria specific to us and our situation. Length of time from beginning to end needed to be 12 months or less. We wanted a place where only one parent had to travel. (We didn't want both of us to have to leave the boys) We wanted a child that was considered healthy or with minor correctible health issues. (We didn't feel equipped to take care of 2 children with lifelong mental and/or physical needs) We also wanted to keep the financial costs as low as possible. The age of the child. We didn't want to upset the 'birth order'. We wanted a child less than 18months when he/she came home. All of these criteria may sound cold but we knew once we got into the actual selection process, we needed to have a plan so that emotion would not overtake us. With that criteria in mind, this is how it went.
1. Domestic adoption: It only met the 'travel' criteria.
2. Guatemala: Met the criteria although it was more expensive.
3. Korea: Met ALL the criteria. We just didn't meet their criteria.
4. Eastern Europe/Russia: Both parents have to travel for extended period of time.
5. Africa: Met most of the criteria although the health was a serious question
6. China: Met all the criteria
7. Taiwan: Met all the criteria
Once we started researching agencies and countries, it became clear to us that our child was waiting for us in Asia. Taiwan's length of travel is significantly less than China. ALso, their medical care is much more westernized. The agency we chose also places the children in foster care which seemed like a plus to us.
3. The Cost? Shame on you! You know it's rude to ask questions like that. But if you really must know, the cost of adoption is usually between $15,000-$30,000. The cost depends upon the country and agency you choose. Some adoptions can run even more. It depends if you are paying for the birth mother expenses and a private lawyer.
4. The agency? How did you choose the agency? Lots of questions and research and references. We found an agency that was the right fit for us. It is a must. You have to have an agency that works for you and your situation. SInce everyone is different, no one agency is right for everyone.
5. The unknown? How do you handle the unknown? Adoption is NOT for everyone. There are alot of unknowns. I would say there are alot of unknowns with biological children also. Parenting is one giant unknown. If you want all the answers before hand, don't adopt. (For that matter, don't have children, period!) We also found a support group that has been wonderful. If there are questions we have, they usually have the answer. They are a great group.
6. The Story? What is your child's story? My reply: "That is her story to tell" We got alot of information with our referral. There's alot we don't know but can speculate on. We choose to tell our daughter and then let her decide whom she will tell. We all have stories. We get to choose who we tell. She should have that same opportunity.
Hope this answers some of your questions.
Saturday, March 18, 2006
The Bedroom
We've gotten Ansley's room ALMOST complete. This is what we've done so far. For those wondering, YES the train is staying. So we worked around that. There are a few more tweaks but this is the gist of the 'fairy theme'.
Friday, March 10, 2006
The March Update
We got the March update today. THANK YOU, TIEN! It made our weekend to have new pictures. Ansley is growing up! She's about 1 inch taller but no heavier. Tien reports that she is 'smart and friendly'. Can't wait to get "THE CALL".
Wednesday, March 08, 2006
The Wait Continues
Thanks for all those who keep checking. And thanks so much for the continued support. I told you this wait would be long. Some days it seems eternal. But the reality is: our timeline has been extremely fast. Let's recap:
October 4, 2005: First meeting with our homestudy social worker
November 15, 2005: Referral (our homestudy isn't even complete)
(November 15 - December 28): Lots going on behind the scenes. Homestudy finished, Thanksgiving, Christmas, translations, notary, authenticating notary, teco)
December 30, 2005: All the paperwork heads to Taiwan
(December 31, 2005-February 15, 2006): Wait (lots going on behind the scenes: New Year's in the US, Chinese New Year)
February 16, 2006: Court Date
(February 17, 2006 - ??????): Wait some more
Think about it: This paper pregnancy is going much faster than either of my other 2 pregnancies. If you are familiar with adoptions (either domestic or international), you know that the referral stage alone usually takes 6-24 months. So from that perspective, we're ahead of the game.
Don't get me wrong, we are still antsy and want our little girl home. But we've done all we can do. It's in the hands of the Taiwanese Judicial System. Check back soon. Our March update should be here any day and you can see the new pictures.
Jan and Randy
October 4, 2005: First meeting with our homestudy social worker
November 15, 2005: Referral (our homestudy isn't even complete)
(November 15 - December 28): Lots going on behind the scenes. Homestudy finished, Thanksgiving, Christmas, translations, notary, authenticating notary, teco)
December 30, 2005: All the paperwork heads to Taiwan
(December 31, 2005-February 15, 2006): Wait (lots going on behind the scenes: New Year's in the US, Chinese New Year)
February 16, 2006: Court Date
(February 17, 2006 - ??????): Wait some more
Think about it: This paper pregnancy is going much faster than either of my other 2 pregnancies. If you are familiar with adoptions (either domestic or international), you know that the referral stage alone usually takes 6-24 months. So from that perspective, we're ahead of the game.
Don't get me wrong, we are still antsy and want our little girl home. But we've done all we can do. It's in the hands of the Taiwanese Judicial System. Check back soon. Our March update should be here any day and you can see the new pictures.
Jan and Randy
Tuesday, February 21, 2006
The Boys
Just thought I'd post some pics of the boys while we are waiting to hear news from Taiwan. These are Ansley's 'big' brothers. Judson is getting more and more excited about his sister coming home. He keeps coming up with ideas on how to decorate her room. His last suggestion was to move Sawyer's bed into Ansley's room and move Daddy's bed into Judson's room. He thought Daddy would make a better roommate than Sawyer.
Monday, February 06, 2006
The Court Date
Good News!!!!!! We have a court date. It is February 16th. This is the first hurdle we have to jump. At this hearing, they can request more information or perhaps order more counseling for the birth mother. After that, there is a mandatory 10 day waiting period. THEN, they schedule a date for the 1st Decree. This is a matter of getting all the parties together at the same time. Some people have gotten their 1st decree in 2 weeks. Some folks have been waiting on their first decree for 3 months. There is no predicting this kind of thing.
So keep your fingers crossed for a fast process so we can travel real soon!
Jan
So keep your fingers crossed for a fast process so we can travel real soon!
Jan
Thursday, January 19, 2006
The Birthday Surprise
The picture speaks for itself
Can you believe this cake?
Overwelmed? Sugar High?
Friday, January 06, 2006
The January Update
Here are the latest pictures of Ansley. She is now 28 inches tall and 20 pounds. Notice the Stricklin hairline and the Morris front-tooth gap.
Thursday, January 05, 2006
The 1st Birthday
Ansley is celebrating her first birthday today, January 5. We won't be able to celebrate with her today but we'll make up for it on the next zillion birthdays she has! We sent a box with a toy and clothes and pictures.
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