Adoption-1 year anniversary

As we are approaching the 1 year mark of Ansley's Gotcha Day, my thoughts are turning towards adoption and topics associated with adoption. Many folks on my Yahoo Adoption Group say adoption is not for the faint of heart. Truer words have not been spoken. SO excuse me while I ramble abit.

No one asked me for references when I was pregnant. Nor did they ask for FBI checks or police clearance letters. No one questioned my 'parenting philosophy'. No one came into my house to inspect it to verify it was adequate and safe to raise a child. And no one came to inspect my septic system to make sure it was in working order. For adoption, I was asked for all of that and more.

When you make an addition to your family (by birth or adoption), adjustments have to be made. Everyone in the family gets rearranged. Husband and wife, suddenly become parents. Or maybe, they become parents to 2 or 3 kids instead of 1 or 2. Siblings suddenly change in pecking order. And the newbie suddenly has a whole new environment to which they must adjust. (How do you like it when you are the only one that doesn't know all the rules to a game/first day of work where everyone else knows everyone but you?) Adjustments are never easy. For us, child #1 was by far the hardest adjustment. Upside: Usually, once the adjustments are made, everyone says, "I can't imagine it any other way". Downside: Those adjustments don't happen overnight.

Looking back over this last year, I can see how much this family has changed. Three children is a totally different dynamic than two. The stress of trying to make sure 3 children are being nurtured properly is draining at times. I will say, I think this has made communication between the Randy and I, better. Maybe there's less time to communicate, so therefore we've gotten better at being more consise and exact. Who knows? Watching Judson going through such an adjustment has been tough. He's been thru so much in 4 years. But WOW, has he come thru with shining colors. He's amazing. He still gets frustrated but he's handling it better. (Little to no biting now) And Sawyer, what a kid. He figured out Ansley long before his daddy and brother did. He saw through her tantrums and just blew them off. Then there is Ansley. She has issues, as would anyone in her position. Her adjustment has had some bumps and probably has more bumps to come. But she is strong and with the proper guidance and lots of love, I do believe she will overcome these issues.

I say ALL OF THIS just to encourage those who are thinking of adoption or in the process of adoption. What, you're scared instead of encouraged? Sorry. Creating a family is never easy. And there will be trials along the way. So don't go into it with rose colored glasses. Expect there will be issues. Know this, Randy and I would do it all over again. Ansley is bright and sweet and loving. And our family would not be the same without her.