Want to Adopt?

Then check out Shelley's blog on "A Dad's View". I think it's a good view of the asymmetrical 'dance' a family does as they wrestle with the decision to adopt. I should mention that Shelley and her husband, Robert, adopted TWO little boys with Down Syndrome! The dance is the same, though. Usually, one person gets the nudge in their heart to adopt but the other one drags behind. It's frustrating for the first one sometimes. I know with us before we got married I told Randy I wanted to adopt. He was cool with the idea. Then we had 2 children biologically and I thought we were done. After Sawyer's surgery and recovery, one day Randy asked, "So shouldn't we start the adoption process if we're going to do it?". I didn't waste anytime. I started contacting agencies and gathering data. We first thought we were going to S. Korea but were led to Taiwan. A year after we adopted Ansley, I wanted to adopt again but Randy was hesitant. So, I started giving away clothes and assumed our family was complete. Finally, after many little comments from Randy like, "Why are you giving away clothes, what if we need them for #4", I asked, "Do you want to adopt again or are you just teasing". This time around he was a little more hesitant because while we were making bills and saving money and managing with 3 kids, #4 scared us both. So we had many more months of wrestling with the idea before we started down the road to #4. The rest is history as they say.

I do have to say, if you want to adopt, don't follow our path. Apparently, where ever we go, trouble follows. Our path to Ansley was very painless (as international adoptions go) and quick. Right after we brought her home, the adoption agency we used closed. The timelines for adopting from Taiwan lengthened and the rules changed dramatically. (I doubt we'd be allowed to adopt from Taiwan under the same circumstances again) Then we go to Ethiopia. Again a quick and painless adoption. Soon there after, our home study agency closes to international adoption. Our wonderful placement agency, Gladney, is still in business. Ethiopia changes their rules dramatically and timelines start growing. The reality is growing pains happen. As countries become more popular for adoptions, the rules need to be tweaked and timelines need to grow in order to help protect the children as well as the program.

So go read Shelley's blog.