What's Your Talent?

Everyone has talents and skills.  Some are very obvious and some are more subtle.  As I said before, the family who came on this trip along side Judson and I had the talents of nurse and carpenter/contractor.  These came in very helpful on this trip.  Jaime (the nurse) taught the Ethiopian nurse how to measure the kids and keep records on growth, etc.  Frank (the contractor) repaired faucets, hooked up a washing machine, built shelves and a work bench for the cook.  He and Tamirat and Melkamu painted the Read and Feed center.  So lots of skills.

So what was my talent?  I was the kid-magnet!  You know, the pied-piper.  I sat down and kids flocked to me. It's a talent I inherited from my father.  So, my job was to keep kids busy and out of the way when paint was going up and work was being done.  I think I got the best job!

May I just say, the girl on the right had such a beautiful spirit.

She was beautiful on the outside but something else just shown thru.

Loved interacting with her.

Example:  We had spent the whole day painting the read and feed center. This is the day I had a severe attack of Montezuma's Revenge and the plumbing was NOT working, by the way. TMI?    So let's just say, I'm in a weakened state and after painting flowers and grass on the walls, I decide to sit down.  I've got paint on my clothes and my hands and arms.  Before I know it, I have 3 girls 'grooming' me, picking paint off my skin.  I swear when they are done, I have no paint left on my skin.  After they are through, I pull out my iPhone and turn on music and a bubble app.  Next thing I know, I have about 10 kids crowding around to play and sing to the song.  Come to find out, every kid in Ethiopia must know the K'naan song: "Wavin' Flag".  Who knew, right?

See, no paint on my hands.

Why yes, that is a 3rd eye.

The girl in the pink shirt from yesterday's photo.  She wanted nothing to do with any of us.  She'd sit there with her arms crossed and glare.  Now, I happen to think she is very smart and is also pretty sure she can depend upon no one but herself.  So she is a student of humanity.  It took a few hours but we were walking back to the bus after the amusement park.  I could see her cutting her eyes over to me.  I just held back.  Then she made the move!  She slowed down so she could be beside me.  So I stuck out one finger....AND....she grabbed it!  She let me walk her back to the bus.  Pretty awesome feeling to get the trust of a kid.

Judson got in on the act too.  He taught the kids how to fold origami figures and tried to teach them chess although it was a bit difficult due to language barrier.  Luckily, Melkam knew how to play so he helped with translations.

Faces

If you are familiar with the stages of grief, you will see some of these stages written all over the faces of these kids.  You have to remember these kids have lost big time in the game of life.  They would not be in this orphanage if they had family to take care of them. Some All of their stories are heartbreaking.

Notice the kids who have the beautiful dark ebony skin.  Most of them just recently arrived at this orphanage from the border of Sudan.  They look different.  They speak/understand a different language. They are used to different foods.  Their trip was 2 days in a bus!  In fact, the orphanage is trying to get another bus load of kids in from the same region before the rainy season starts because once the season starts there will be no way.  The roads (such that they are) will be washed away.

One of the little girls in the latest bunch is particularly heartbreaking.  She is 5 but the size of a 3 year old.  She has a brother who is the size of an 18 month old but is in fact closer to 3.  Her mother is dead.  Her father abandoned them because he is a nomad and had no way to take care of 2 small children.  This girl carries her brother on her back where ever she goes.  You'd take the boy off her back and turn around, she'd have him back on.  Even when the nannies would try to get her involved in the games, she'd be searching the crowd looking for her little brother.  As soon as the game/dance was over, you'd see her run back to stand beside her brother. That's a lot of responsibility for a 5 year old.

There are kids who are HIV+.  Some appeared healthier than others.  One little one had the karposi sarcoma scars on her face.  Apparently when she came in, she was probably closing in on full blown AIDS. However, with the administration of ARVs, she seemed to be doing better.  Not sure how often they monitor the CD4 counts or what kind of ARVs are administered. 

So, on the faces you'll see pure shock.  That PTSD look where they can no longer process what they see.  Their eyes are open but they see nothing.  They cannot.  It's too painful so they shutdown.

 You'll see sadness.  They are processing but all is sadness.  All they have lost.  All that is new.

 You'll see some distrust especially at first.  Maybe even fear.  But they are processing, so that is good. 



Pink shirt. Arms crossed. She was not sure she wanted to like anything or anyone.  She studied everything and everyone.  It took time but she decided I was okay.


Then you will see happiness in some.  They have come through the whole process and are on the other side of grief.  They have decided to make the best of their situation and are beginning to enjoy life.  You will see some go between these stages.  They are not fully over the grief but they are getting there.  In point of fact, does anyone ever fully get over grief/loss?  Or do they just learn to live with it. 

Love these 2.  They are natural born leaders.  Very caring for the little ones too.

I say all that to make the point that when you look at the pictures, be sure the take in all the picture has to say.  It's saying a lot more than you think.

Communication-Finally!

So....

After stopping by the orphanage for a quick look-see, we head to Kuriftu.  It's a 'spa' just outside Addis up in the hills.  Addis, by the way, is surrounded by mountains.  It sits about 7500 feet above sea level.  Denver by contrast is about 5200 feet above sea level.

We arrive at Kuriftu about 10ish in the morning.  We plan on spending the day here so I'm thinking it'll be dinner before I have another chance to contact Randy.  As luck would have it, we get there and find out Kuriftu is wired for wifi.  HOORAY!  The wifi gods were looking down on us because wifi actually worked!  Very unheard of.

So I take the boys over to the pool and get them situated while I snag a lounge chair and chill out and get connected to wifi on my iphone.  #lovetechnology   After a few tries, I connect with Randy via IM.  So now he knows I am alive and well.  Since it is messenger, I can't convey the whole story but I did 'talk' to him.  You also have to consider the time difference.  It's 10am Addis time.  That means it's 3am Atlanta time.  Didn't matter.  He was awake and ready to talk.  It just made my day!

what we see on the way to kuriftu

pay no attention to the stripes to divide the lanes. 

no one else does

The whole day at Kuriftu was very surreal.  You leave Addis with it's poverty and big city dirtiness and noise and you go into the mountains to peace and quiet.  A place where mostly foreigners go.  Not something I expected but I tried to enjoy as much as possible.  Also to be considered is the fact that neither Judson or I had slept since Thursday night.  It was  Sunday morning.  We were not alone in this sleep deprived state.  Our house mates had arrived earlier that morning from Egypt, so they too were running on fumes.

first time kayaking for all 3 boys!

Ahhhh....my view at the pool.

Back Information

Back in 2008 and before, adoptions in Ethiopia were not very popular.  They were happening but not on the scale of China or Russia.  When we adopted from Ethiopia, orphanages in Ethiopia were not receiving a lot of attention or money. 

The orphanage, where T and M were living, was in abominable condition.   Built in WWII, it had been used as a barracks and then as a prison.  Missing windows, no plumbing, many boys sleeping on the floor. No kitchen. It housed more than 200 school aged boys. By the time Randy went in 2008 some folks had taken an interest in this orphanage and it was beginning to get much needed attention.  Still many boys ran away deciding being on the street was better than living there.

The younger kids orphanages were not any better.  Children dying and those living were in bad shape.  

By 2007 or 2008, things were turning around.  People were paying attention and agencies were working on getting the places in better shape.  Some friends we met in process had adopted their kids from ET a year or so prior to our application.  Their kids were in one of the worst orphanages (and the biggest) in the city of Addis Ababa.  (It has since been shut down)  When they got home, they decided something must be done to help.  So they started Ethio-American blended Families.  http://www.ethioamericanfamily.org/  
They not only help support an orphanage but also a 'community center'.  This center functions as an after school program that offers meals as well as tutoring and help buying school books and uniforms. They survive on donations only.

I wanted to learn more about this program.  So the opportunity arose and we decided it would be good idea to go over and see how it worked. 

I saw and I was impressed.  Unlike many orphanages (especially those supported by adoption agencies), they accept any child in need.  Trust me when I say many orphanages only want kids who are adoptable.  (young, healthy, etc)  Here they realize most of the children will be with them until they age out of the system.  It is a family atmosphere.  I like that. 

So I tell you all of this to shamelessly plug the orphanage and read-feed center.  When I was there they had 50 kids living in this compound.  (one house with a fenced in courtyard)  They were expecting a bus load of kids from the Sudanese border within the next 2 weeks.   They need money for beds, etc.  They also need sponsors for the kids at the read-feed center.  One boy in particular needs a sponsor. ($32/month)  He lived with his mom and 2 sisters in a tent which means basically on the streets.  The mom has some mental issues. He was shining shoes to help feed his sisters and mom.  When the center found out his living conditions, they helped the mom get into a 'house'.  They helped her find work.  They have sponsors for the sisters but need a sponsor for the boy.  He's a good boy.  Quiet and helpful.  By helping this child or others, you help preserve a family.  That is flat out awesome. 

Orphanage.

They rent this house and are at the mercy of the owner as to what they can do to accommodate the kids.

They could be asked to leave at any time.

Imagine the logistics of that.

The Saga Continues

I hope if you are just joining this story you will go back to the beginning and read the whole story.

Now, where was I?    Ah yes.....

As we get up(no sleep but who cares, right) to start our first full day in Addis (now let me stop here and say, I now say Adeese because that is what I heard people say the whole time I'm there, spelled Addis but pronounced Adeese)  I'm still concerned about contacting Randy.  I did not know he'd been told I was not there, yet but I know having been on the other side of the situation it is very nice to have confirmation that your loved one is safe and sound.

I go to the dining/living room and hear Dedra (our facilitator) ask them to call someone out to fix the internet.  Well CRAP.  Still no internet.  Not only that, no working phone either.  *SIGH* 

I try to explain what happened to the Ethiopian translator and D.  Then the translator informs me how worried the 'husband' (of the woman who did not show-Shrick Land) is. My heart sinks.  Now I know Randy thinks I'm not here and I still have no way to contact him.  I have YET to convince anyone, even D, that there is a miscommunication. 

Meanwhile back home Randy is doing all he can do to find out where I am.  He contacts our airline and will NOT give up. (The man has the tenacity of a bull dog, gotta love him) For privacy information, they will not tell him that I was on the plane.  However, he finally finds someone who will say EVERYONE who was supposed to be on the plane IS on the plane.  He may not know WHERE I am but he does know I got to Addis. 

Now as it happens I did send emails from Germany they just did not arrive for several days.  So they were of no help either.

Somewhere between leaving for our first day and arriving at the 'spa' that will be our first day's experience, I convince D that I am the 'missing woman'.  Doesn't help so much since we still have no way to contact Randy but at least I have someone who understands the panic I am beginning to feel.

One bright spot during all of this is I get to finally meet Tamirat and Melkam, our two Kolfe boys.  So I am happy about that and excited to be in Ethiopia and to begin our week of activities.

We start out by stopping at the orphanage to meet the kids.  We don't stay long but I do get to see kids.  LOVE IT!  Then we head to the spa. 

Here is a picture of the 'group'.  The other family on the excursion with Judson and I have very specialized skills.  J is a nurse and F is a carpenter by trade.  So they bring a great skill set to the party. Plus, they've adopted a girl from Vietnam and a boy from Ethiopia whom they brought with them.  I swear to you it's like having Ansley and Turner there.   Dedra is in the middle.  She, too, has adopted 3 girls from Ethiopia. It is nice to have that adoption bond where everyone gets why you are doing what you do.

I'm betting you are wondering what skill set I brought. Well, you'll just have to wait.

Next time, I promise to tell you more about the organization and the work they are doing. 

In the beginning

We left for Ethiopia on Friday afternoon.  We wanted to get to the airport early so if there were problems, we'd have time to correct them.  As it turned out, the new international terminal at the ATL was wonderful.  No problems.  So we spent the afternoon watching people and airplanes.

Finally, we boarded our plane and started our journey.  There was a full 24 hours of travel, layovers, and bus rides.  Yes, bus rides.  Because at Frankfurt Airport, you do not taxi to the terminal.  You stop in the middle of air field and walk down the steps to waiting buses.  Just like a 1950s movie.  Not only that, you have to go through security again.  Then back on a bus to get to your plane for the next leg of your journey.  I can't say I like Frankfurt or most of its people.  Maybe that's just me.

Judson loved the plane ride and all the new experiences.  He watched the Chipmunks movie at least 3 times on this trip.  He watched the flight tracking a lot also.  The only thing he did not like about the plane ride was the food.  I have to agree with him.  The food was not good.

Once we arrive at Bole Airport in Addis Ababa, things are going just as described. We were able to get our visa and exchange our currency without much trouble.  I manage to get all our luggage (4 checked bags @ 50 lbs and 2 carryons) and keep tabs on Judson.  It is nearing midnight by this time.   I walk out of the luggage claim expecting to see my driver.  Ahhh...our first glitch. No driver.  I begin to panic just a wee bit.  I look around with the look of  'deer in the headlights'.  Now, I've been warned not to ask too many people for help as everyone expects a tip.  I also know I do NOT want to walk outside because once you leave the airport, you are not allowed to come back in.  Finally, someone with a Bole name tag asks if he can help. Bless you, young man is all I can think.  I explain my predicament and he proceeds to call my guest house.  They tell him my driver is waiting outside for me.  I try to tip this gentleman but he refuses my tip.   He must be the one person in the airport that does not expect a tip.

I walk outside and see many drivers holding names.  I find the driver holding my name.  In fact, he is holding 2 pieces of paper.  One says "Jan Stricklin".  One says, "Shrick Land".  I tell him that is me.  His response?  "Which one?"  I say, "Jan Stricklin".  Fine, he says.  We still have to wait on one more person.  He takes Judson and I to the van and goes back to wait on his other person.  Now it's midnight and I"m working on ZERO sleep.  So it takes a while for me to realize that Jan Stricklin and Shrick Land are really the same people. Once I do, I try to explain to my driver that indeed, Jan Stricklin and Shrick Land are one in the same.  I try pointing to the Shrick Land paper and say "That's me". Oh...so then he must be waiting on Jan Stricklin.  No, that is me too.  After about 30 minutes, I give up. I figure we're stuck in the van until he decides to give up on Shrick Land. Communication is a problem when one party does not speak Amharic and the other person speaks reasonably good basic English but does not understand nuances, etc.

Meanwhile, back in the states Randy has been contacted and told his wife never showed up.

After what seemed like an eternity, we head to the guest house without Shrick Land.  I think once I'm there I can contact Randy to say I'm there and then hit the sack.  It's after midnight and we have to be up and ready by 8am.  I get to the guest house only to find out in true Ethiopian fashion, the internet is down.  It is very normal for internet to be down but in this case, I realize Randy will want to know I got there safely and I really want to contact him.  NO LUCK.

We try to sleep but again, no luck.  We have bunk beds and Judson does not want to sleep by himself.  So he and I try to sleep on the bottom bunk.  Let's just say, there was very little sleep gotten that night.

Fiddle-dee-dee.  Tomorrow is another day.

We Are Back!

Dear Judson,

Last week you and I got to spend a 'once-in-a-lifetime' week in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia.  It was wonderful!  It far exceeded my expectations.  YOU far exceeded my expectations. 

Your Dad and I wanted to give you this experience.  We wanted to make sure you knew how 97% of the world's population lived.  NINETY-SEVEN percent.  I am not talking about the 'things'  they did not have.  Things are not what makes people happy.  I'm talking about access to clean water and proper medical care, things like that.  You have so much more than most people living on this earth.  We wanted you to know that. We also wanted you to see how happy people are.  They didn't need tv or electronic games or designer clothes.  They were happy.  You were happy living and playing with the people you met. 

I also want you to know about the resistance Dad and I ran into when we announced I was going and taking you.  Many people have preconceived notions and misinformation about Addis.  Many people thought we should not take you.  I want you to know never once while we were in Addis was I fearful for your safety.  You were safe.  The people were nice.  Crime was/is not a factor there.  The most anyone warned me about was pick-pockets at the Mercado.  But since they wouldn't let us out of the van at the Mercado because we were ferengi that was not a problem.  The reason they would not let the ferengi out at the Mercado or anywhere where 'deals' were being made was the merchants would inflate prices to Americans(Or any foreigner) and with us there, they could not make good deals on the prices.  So they parked the van around the corner and went and made the deals on the merchandise we purchased, while we sat in the van.  I want you to remember this because I want you to realize, sometimes you have to do things in spite of being afraid or despite the resistance you come across.  It is okay!

I think you learned a lot while you were away.  You learned it was perfectly safe to play with kids who are HIV+.  You learned about HIV. You learned how it felt to be the only child with your skin color.  So maybe you will be more empathetic to Turner as sometimes he is the only child with brown skin when we go places. You learned about Ethiopian history.  You learned how Ethiopian history ties greatly to Biblical history.  You learned some Ethiopian games and dances. You had your first experience flying, and loved it.

You had great fun and I hope as you grow and mature, you will take what you have learned on this trip and apply it to other things.  Realize that what the news agencies portray is not always the whole truth.  Your eyes saw many things that you will never read or hear about in the news.  I hope your heart will always be open to learning new things and doing things even when you might be afraid or when it goes against what other people are saying. 

I also want you to know how wonderful your father is.  He was very unselfish in letting Me take you.  I think he would have preferred being the one to take you.  But he knew how much I wanted to go so he let me take you.  Of course, he was nervous about us getting on plane and traveling so far.  But he did not let FEAR rule him.  He let us go.  How awesome is that!  Again, I think you can learn from his example of unconditional love.

Thanks for being such a great travel mate and I hope we can go back to Addis Ababa someday and reconnect with our friends and loved ones.

Love,
Mom

Happy Father's Day

To all those wonderful Father's out there, I hope today (and everyday) is Happy!

I have a wonderful Father, as do my children, as does my husband.  We are "triply" blessed!

Today, my husband is taking 3 of our children (the ones who can ride) bike riding.

(Happy Mother's Day to me!)

Here are some pictures of all we have done this weekend, so far.

Demolition Derby

Down syndrome Association Picnic

(Taken with my phone camera because Randy had the other small one at the derby and I didn't want to haul the big camera, so bear with me)

Planted Daddy a Salsa Garden for Father's Day

Took Training Wheels off T's Bike

He just took off, no help.  Amazing!

Don't be hating because you don't have a shark fin bicycle helmet.

And the day is still young.  Lots more to do!

Summer Vacation

Some Moms are those cool "Home Ec" Moms

You know the ones

They have something useful planned for each day of summer vacation

Artsy stuff

Cooking stuff

Field trip stuff

Some Moms are the "scheduler" Moms

They schedule their kids for camps

They schedule their kids for sleepovers

They schedule swim lesseons

They schedule every moment of their kids summer vacation

Now, I can play either of those roles.

Really I can.

I'm a super good scheduler Mom.

I'm an okay Home Ec Mom

But some days I like being the "fly by the seat of my pants" Mom

I just let the day "BE"

What comes, comes and we go with it.

In fact, since most of the year is 'scheduled'

I like to have my summer less scheduled.

I like to let my kids just 'be'.

Come up with their own plans and do it.

My favorite saying is: "I'm not your entertainment coordinator"

That being said, I also have to watch out and not be the
"Don't do that because you'll get hurt or you'll mess up my kitchen" Mom

Today, they wanted to build a vending machine.

My first instinct is NO, you'll mess up.

Then my "Let it Be" Mom took over and came up with a compromise.

You may if you do it out on the back porch!

AND you clean up when you are through.

This is what they are working on:

T isn't working as much as he is talking.

Don't know how long they will work on it.

I do know they came up with idea all on their own

They are working together without arguing (so far)

And they are having fun.

Can't ask for any thing more.

Experimental Fun

Nothing better than corn starch and water.

Lots of cheap fun and not too bad to cleanup.

Why Yes, my table is that junky.

Thanks for asking.

If you are like me and holding chalk creeps you out,

Don't touch this stuff.  Same ick factor.

But it is quite interesting.

Press down and it is hard.

Pick it up in your hands and it runs right through your fingers.

Wow! Wonderful Weekend.

We had great cool weather.

(enough said for Hotlanta)

Randy worked outside on Saturday.

His comment,

Feels like football weather.

We crammed a lot into this weekend.

Haircuts. (Check)

Tooth fairy.  (Check)

Picnic. (Check)

Yard work. (Check)

I try not to think of the $$ this mouth will cost.

 The picnic was for families who adopted from Ethiopia.

Fun!

A few years ago, I had a lady tell me Ansley was not Chinese/Taiwanese

She was Korean.

Today, I had a lady (From Ethiopia) tell me Turner was not Ethiopian.

Truly, he does not have the typical Habesha looks associated with peoples from Ethiopia.

All I can say, I do not have typical children.

I'm good with that.

 

Happy Birthday to my Little T

Best Birthday Ever!

That is what we heard from our little guy.

He got his first big boy bed.

(Previously slept in a hand me down toddler bed)

His 'big boy bed' is brand new.

One of the few things that he calls his own and has never been used by a previous sibling.

He received other wonderous gifts too!

He had cupcakes and a Popsicle today.

(that's about a weeks worth of sugar for him)

It was a good day!

 Happy Birthday!