Tom Sawyer (2nd post today)

So my husband (aka Tom Sawyer, the one on the ground) asked a buddy from work to help him cut down some limbs from our neighbor's tree. The limbs were encroaching on our power lines. Note: This buddy, within the last year, had a heart attack and a stent. I did hear Randy ask many times for the two to swap places. Not sure how sincere he sounded but he asked. To which his buddy commented: You've got dependents. Let me just say, Randy owes this man big time. Here's a few ootie pictures of our 'dependents'.


Note about the last picture. Turner has decided that Sawyer is his best friend. Sawyer is a lone wolf of sorts. He's quite content to be 'alone', so it bothers him sometimes to have a pesky little brother around. The funny thing is the two are very much alike. They both have a great sense of comedy. (Ansley and Judson are silly but T and S are really comics) They both have a 'happy' personality. Just happy all of the time. Both are very much people persons. They love the interact with people. Both are so easy to love and be around, everyone falls for them when they meet them.

Tell Me About It

So, this morning I went for my annual run to the liquor store for some cooking whiskey. Seriously, I needed some for a recipe that I wanted to make. Now, I may live in the South and I may have some 'country' (but not red neck) tendencies. BUT I do NOT carry my kids into liquor stores. Thus, I left 4 kids with Randy and took off for 30 minutes of silence. (I mean I ran my errand)

I call from the store asking Randy if he'd like me to pick up a bottle of wine or something, since I don't frequent that store very often I figure it's a good opportunity. About the time I ask, several kids start screaming in the back ground. His response (in much the same tone as the night of the spiders) was, "I don't know, I have four kids to look after".

I wouldn't know anything about that.....

Mom Plus Four At The Store

So, tonight we are 'hoping' to go to Bingo Night at Sawyer's school. Since this is also my scheduled grocery night, I made an executive decision. I took the kids (All 4) to the grocery with me. You've already seen the shopping cart of choice at my particular store. So three rode while one walked. One of the three was NOT a happy camper. She thinks she is as big as Judson and should be allowed all privileges granted to her big brother. (Let me just state, had I an option to put all four in a cart with a belt on, I would have used that option. I was constantly telling Judson to stop touching the food/produce since other folks didn't want his germs on their food.)

Mom, being the 'bad mom' that she is, FORGOT to give the kids their mid-morning snack before leaving the house. SO, being the 'bad shopper' that I am, I grabbed a bag of rice cakes and opened them up in the store. Three of the four loved them. Sawyer, threw his on the floor. A mini-meltdown was averted!

Gotta say, you get sympathy from the baggers when you carry multiple kids to the grocery with you. They never carry my groceries to the car when it's just Judson and I. Add one more kid, and I get the royal treatment. Add 3 more, and they are eager to get you out of the store and jump at the chance to take the groceries out. The teenish guy that carried our groceries out loaded the groceries and held Turner while I strapped Sawyer in the car. (Scared I might leave him??) He said something like, "Parenting isn't a game" TO which I replied, "It aint for sissies".

So I live to tell the tale of going to the grocery with 4 children. It was pleasant for the most part and all survived. Sawyer and Turner had a great time greeting everyone they saw. We all got a laugh out of watching Turner towards the end of our trip. He was knodding off while sitting on his perch. He looked like the perverbial old man at church...sitting straight up but knodding his head back and forth. I was sure he'd conk his head on the buggy but never did. Will I do it again? Ummmm....let's hope that dad will be able to watch the majority of the pack next time.

My Thoughts Exactly

This person puts it better than I could. (Click on the link and you can read her thoughts) It's the internal struggle you have when you adopt. It's a paradox of sorts. You are so happy with this child and feel so blessed. Yet, in the back of your mind there is this ghost or maybe a family of ghosts. People who gave up a piece of themselves. They didn't do it because they were callous or shallow. They didn't do it because they were bad people. They did it so their child would have a chance. A chance to survive....

I'm not trying to be depressing but trying to shed light on this subject that is a huge part of my life. People sometimes have a misconception of what people are like. People have said to me a million times, how lucky Ansley and Turner are to have been adopted by our family. The truth is, the exact opposite it true. They are the ones who gave up everything. They are the ones who lost the lives to which they were born. They are the ones who have to adjust. We are the lucky ones. Randy and I are. We are the ones whose lives are enriched by these beautiful children. Hopefully, in the end, we will have enriched their lives too. We are the ones who got a peak into cultures that we might have only read about. Now we get to live them to an extent. We are the ones who are forever tied and indebted to a community of people half way across the globe. We are the ones who are now tied to a bigger community right in our own backyard. A community that might have gone unnoticed had we not adopted. I have had people who said, "Your children should be very grateful to you for having 'rescued' them". It is we who are grateful. They owe us nothing. We are grateful to a family who made a plan, a plan for their child(ren). We are grateful that those children are now 'our' children. Grateful for our family!

Someone Asked One Time

Do you find that your family is a recipient of negative comments and attitudes around your community?

I have to say NO. Of course, you come across an occasional jerk who is ill-informed or just plain stupid or mean. It would happen if I had a homogeneous family, I'm sure.

The reality is I really never pay much attention to people and their reaction to my family. (I expect there is quite the reaction if I tuned in) I only am aware of my surroundings as they pertain to my family's safety. (when I'm out with 4 kids, 3 in car seats by myself, it's paramount) Sometimes someone will catch me off guard with a comment but usually that is when I'm amongst 'friends' so if someone says something, it really takes me aback. Upon occasion I make it a point to see what people's reaction is. I did this on Monday.

I had dropped Sawyer off at school, so I was a 'free woman' with only 3 kids. Judson had a doctor's appointment but we were early, so I headed to the BK Lounge (otherwise known as Burger King) for some cini-minis! As I was getting everyone situated a man came in. I have to say this man scared me. He just didn't appear quite 'right'. (Years of being single, I make snap judgments sometimes assessing the safety issue) He wouldn't make eye contact. Turner said HI about ten times and the man never made eye contact. Is the man a raciest? I wouldn't say so based on that one interaction. I doubt he would have made eye contact had any of my other kids or I said HI.

Then as I was walking out the door with Turner in my arms and holding the others' hands, a black man stopped me and asked if Turner was black. A bit confused, I said "he's from Ethiopia" He said, "Then he's black". (Whew, glad I got that cleared up) He went on to say, he and his wife had been having a discussion about how 'white folks just don't adopt black kids'. I nicely said that many white people I know were adopting children of color. (internationally and domestically) He said, "Well, I think you are doing a wonderful thing, thank you".

From my Burger King excursion, I took away positive vibes.

Got to the doctor's office. We were the only ones in the well waiting room. I positioned myself in front of the door to prevent any escape. A family came in. They become concerned that Turner has been left (he was inside the toy box and hidden away) because his family is not in the room. I laughed and said, I'm his mom. They were in shock. They looked at Ansley and then the light came on, Ah adoption. So I explained the situation. (because really, I could talk about my kids and adoption all day long) We all laughed and I had another positive experience.

Do I think it will always be that way? That would be very naive, wouldn't it? Will I get tired of explaining my family? Maybe, haven't so far. I figure when my kids get tired of being the subject of the conversation ,then I'll have to find a new topic. Will I go around trying to pick a fight with everyone that looks my way or take offense? Nah, that would be too tiring. Will I 'fight' for my family when necessary? Of course.

Like I said, I rarely pay attention to other's reactions. Let's face it, I'm usually just trying to keep my herd together. I figure it takes a bold person to come up and say something negative to me or my child. If they are going to be that bold, then I don't have a problem being that bold (read: RUDE) back to them. I also don't go in assuming that their intention was to be rude. Maybe it is, maybe not. If I don't 'bite' then they can't win, can they?

That said, one reason we like living in a metropolitan area is for the diversity. Even with the diversity, we stand out. Then again, we meld in too. It's great.

So the answer is, NO, as a whole I don't perceive negative attitudes from people I come in contact with. I realize that my kids are 'cute' right now. When they are teenagers, I might feel differently. People might not be as accepting. Heck, I might be less accepting of them then too.

Guess What We Did Today?

Nope, didn't watch my team get clobbered in football. (I have a feeling, I'm going to have a LOT of free Saturdays this season) We've been saving this box forever for such an opportunity as this. Nice sunny, yet not HOT day. Old clothes and lots of energy. I REALLY don't like messy projects in the house but I LOVE any project that is done outside and they can get as dirty as they want.

Notice those nice, Picasso-esk strokes! He's still deciding between Left or Right hand.
Some got into the painting more than others

After the painting, the boys got haircuts, outside. (No clean up) Lesson learned....cheap hair clippers aren't the answer. We seem to be going through the more expensive ones every 4 sets of haircuts. So I tried the cheap ones. They weren't strong enough to cut through Judson's thick hair. They did good on Turner's hair though.

All In One

Lots happened today.

1) The Rules

The rules on gum. #1 No gum in Mommy's car. #2 Gum ALWAYS stays in your mouth

Someone forgot the rules:
Ansley started screaming at me while I was driving. "My hand is stuck to the window". I say, "What? take it off". To which she replies, "I can't, it's stuck" It was. Guess who may NEVER get gum again?

2) Score one for Mom

On the way home from picking Sawyer up from school, I swung by a Garage Sale. Low and behold, they had a girls bike (we were going to buy one for Ansley for her birthday) just the right size for a Gum Chewing Rule Breaker. It was like new.

3) So while Ansley was learning to ride, guess who went to the grocery? We've come a long way since my mom used to have to drag 4 of us with her to the grocery.

My Favorite Team

So, it's football time in the south. Let me introduce you to my favorite team, dressed in 'team colors' of Orange/White/Navy. (Not that nasty Florida blue)

Mr. Happy
Been with the team about 1 month. Great addition to our group. Happy, Go Lucky.
Loves everyone and is learning his role fast.
Loves to eat.
I expect him to grow into a offensive lineman
The Team Captains
Loving being the 'examples' (when they are not fighting amongst themselves)
Great kids most of the time.
The Cheerleader (also very HAPPY)
Always in the thick of things
Ready at a moments notice to take on whatever comes his way

I couldn't ask for a better team. How lucky am I!!!!

My Night (all that I remember)

At 9:45pm, I crawled in bed. I was feeling good to be in bed before 10. Ready for a decent night's sleep. At 12:30, Randy jumps out of bed screaming there are spiders in our bed. Not the way I want to be woken up, mind you. I'll admit, I'm not the nicest person when I'm woken like that. I tell him there are no spiders in the bed and to go back to sleep. (In my mind, I was as nice as I could possibly be under the circumstances. To hear him tell it, I was not so nice. Who are you going to believe, the man yelling spiders are in the bed or the sane person trying to get some sleep) He storms off to sleep on the couch. It's 12:30ish and I'm awake. Therefore, I have to go to the bathroom. I crawl back into bed after and tell the spiders they can stay if they are quiet because I need my sleep.

At 3:30ish, Judson came running into the bedroom. He's had a very bad dream about scary bones. (Can I say I hate Halloween and skeletons for this very reason) You might see the pattern here. Judson is wired just like Randy. Very vivid imagination! He cannot go back to sleep and he gets as close to me as he can get and he's still VERY scared. So he squirms and tosses and turns but does NOT sleep. Consequently, I do not sleep.

At around 4ish, Sawyer starts screaming for momma. He cannot breathe and a pullup change. So I change his pullup and put him into bed with Judson and I. At this point, the spiders get very huffy and decide to go sleep somewhere else. I try to close my eyes but I feel like I"m being watched. I open my eyes and 4 eyes are looking back at me, wide awake.

Not be be left out, Turner, who is sleeping in a pack-n-play at the end of my bed is a very loud sleeper. All the noise disturbs him so he starts whining/moaning/groaning.

Finally, at 6am I crawl out of bed and give up. Ansley comes out of her room and wonders why Judson isn't sleeping in his bed.

Interesting Article

By Melissa Fay Greene about Bullying.

http://wondertime.go.com/learning/article/bullyproof-your-child.html

Everybody experiences it.  Here's another approach to disable the bully.

A First

I've had gum cut out of my hair when I was a child. I went to sleep with gum in my mouth and woke up with gum in my hair. Today, I had gum cut out of my hair. Why? Because my son who had gum in his mouth came up behind me to hug me while I was changing Turner's diaper. His gum fell out of his mouth, into my hair. He grabbed it (Trying to remove it) and smooshed it into my hair. Randy had to cut the gum out of my hair. Talk about adding insult to injury. The day before Randy came home from Ethiopia, I rec'd the world's worst haircut. I've been trying to grow it out so I can get a new and improved haircut. Now, I'll be growing out a bald spot on the back of my head. Just gotta laugh, don't ya?

Happy Boy

This kid is just a happy kid. Plain and simple. He finds happiness in everything.


Watching TV with my brothers. I don't understand what is said but I laugh if everyone else is laughing.

Playing Tea Party with my sister.

Ready to Go, all color coordinated.

Big Weekend

Wow...we've been busy lately. Trip to the Botanical Garden (sans Sawyer who was at a special event at school), Judson's Birthday, Nana and Pop, and our neighbor's granddaughter came to visit. Plus, this afternoon, Dumplings start back up. go...go...go...

From L to R: Taiwan, Ethiopia, China, USA (Our version of the United Nations)

Pop and Nana

Pinata


At the children's garden

Happy Birthday, Little Man

My little man is growing up. He is growing into a wonderful person, too. Loving and caring. Sensitive and eager to please. Smart and loves to learn. Each day brings new amazement at his development. When asked what he wants to be when he grows up, his most common answer is "I want the most eco-friendly job there is". He occasionally says he wants to be president or work with computers. Ultimately, he decides he won't have time for those jobs because he'll be too busy saving the earth. How can such a little man have such a big heart and carry so much weight on his shoulders? He truly gets very upset when he reads anything about animals becoming extinct or clear cutting the rain forests.

Even with so much 'worry', he's still a little boy. When asked what he wanted to be for Halloween this year, his thought was " Do you get more candy if you have a scary costume or a nice costume ". He still beats up his sister when she gets on his nerves. He still helps his baby brothers when they need his help. His favorite things to do: play Risk with Dad, Go on special outings with Mom(even if it's just to the grocery), play on his fort/swing set, go to Karate, play with his siblings, and play on the computer.

When told we might not could get everything he asked for his birthday, namely, a pinata, his response was, "That's ok. It wasn't a necessity, just something that would be fun" Guess what I did last nite? Drove across town for a pinata!

So, tomorrow we will make his favorite train cake and bust open his pinata and make his favorite dinner. I will kiss and hug on him and thank God for sending me such a wonderful little boy which is what I do every night.